I asked my wife what she wanted me to do for her and I was very honest about what I could realistically assist with. I reached out for help, when I could not assist her by myself. 


These resources helped me to create a carer plan for my wife. (I am including new resources as well.)

Please note: I do not endorse or support the politics or religious beliefs on any site linked on this site. Not all resources listed here will suit everybody. My emotions, beliefs and feelings were very raw as a carer, so I chose what worked for me👌


I highly recommend reading this new, brilliant resource, A Good Deathwritten from personal experience and in depth research by Margaret Rice. Also, subscribe to her blog on Good Grief too.

  1. The  About Grief Guide from the  Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement reinforced my knowledge that everyone grieves differently.
  2. Here is a guide I have given friends in the past and quoted their suggestions when people asked me how they could help: How to help Some-one Who Is Grieving Guide
  3. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion's true story about losing two loved ones really resonated with me because my Mum and wife died within 6 months of each other.
  4. I still wanted to understand more about my grief and my son's grief and On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler book helped me.
  5. Healing After Loss: was a guide to understand what happens when some-one you love dies from Calvary Healthcare Australia
  6. The Understanding Grief Booklet from the Cancer Council was another great resource that gave me ideas about dealing with my grief.
  7. We used the Cancer Council Information to find our 'plain English' details about cancer words.
  8. There are reliable explanations of health related issues with 'non-medical' explanations in the Better Health Channel: especially understanding palliative care and the the term End of Life care


I contacted our friends and told them what help we needed from them to support my wife. Go on. Do it. We did it. I put my pride aside (You know, the one that told me that we can do it all on our own). Our friends were dying to help 😂


  1. This Dying to Talk site encourages Australians of all ages and levels of health to talk about dying. I like reading different perspectives, from all of the age groups.
  1. Offer to find a counsellor for your loved one, immediate family members and yourself:
  • Ask your General Practitioner (GP) for a referral to a counsellor. Usually your GP knows you or your loved ones quite well
  • (Australia) Contact Lifeline or Beyond Blue
  • Find a counsellor to talk to about what you are going through: (You may have to meet quite a few before you find some-one who is just right for you)
  1. I found trusted friends who have been in a similar situation to listen to me and be courageous enough to guide me with suggestions from their experience.
  2. My wife's friends helped as a medical advocate/s for us (Fancy word for some-one who understands medical terminology and can investigate specialists for you and help you understand your rights).
  3. We took a digital voice recorder (most mobile phones have one already installed) into the meeting with the doctors so you can remember what they tell you. Ask them to write down the names of medications and the actual illness names and types for you. We found it helped to tell the doctor that our motives for recording were good and we just wanted to record the information for just us to replay later.
  4. We found a sense of humour through all of this suffering :-) It worked for us!
  5. It was difficult however I squeezed in some sort of exercise so you can stay healthy to help physically and emotionally support my loved one.


  1. I found a counsellor to talk to about my grief.
  • I met quite a few before I found some-one who was just right for me. I had two wonderful counsellors at one stage! I asked our General Practitioner (GP) for a referral to a counsellor. Usually your GP knows you or your surviving loved ones, quite well.
  • Contact Lifeline or Beyond Blue  (Australia)
  1. I regularly contacted our friends and told them what help we needed from them to support me now. They could not read my mind. 😉
  2. I highly recommend contacting Lifeline (Australia) when it was getting me down: a trained person to listened to my concerns and made suggestions.


I honestly did not think of using Carer apps on the phone or computer! I was not keen to post our personal details on Facebook. Here are a few to get you started: 

  1. Caring Bridge: Coordinate Help: Your personal CaringBridge website is designed to rally your family and friends together, to offer you support when and how you need it.
  2. A transparent, free, charitable platform matching people in need with supporter’s physical or monetary help.

Helpful Websites

Type Site
Aged care
Better Health Channel
National Breast Cancer - Network
BreastScreen Victoria
All things Cancer
Carer support
Dying and death - other perspectives
Funeral Directors
Legalities – Wills, Medical Power of Attorney etc
Mental health
Mental health
Mental health - Youth focus
Organ donation
Ovarian cancer
Palliative care
Pancreatic cancer
Prostate cancer

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