VALUABLE CARER RESOURCES

I highly recommend reading this new, brilliant resource, A Good Death, written from personal experience and in depth research by Margaret Rice. Also, subscribe to her blog on Good Grief too.

1. The  About Grief Guide from the  Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement reinforced my knowledge that everyone grieves differently.
2. Here is a guide I have given friends in the past and quoted their suggestions when people asked me how they could help: How to help Some-one Who Is Grieving Guide
3. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion's true story about losing two loved ones really resonated with me because my Mum and wife died within 6 months of each other.
4. I still wanted to understand more about my grief and my son's grief and On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler book helped me.
5. Healing After Loss: was a guide to understand what happens when some-one you love dies from Calvary Healthcare Australia
6. The Understanding Grief Booklet from the Cancer Council was another great resource that gave me ideas about dealing with my grief.
7. We used the Cancer Council Information to find our 'plain English' details about cancer words.
8. There are reliable explanations of health related issues with 'non-medical' explanations in the Better Health Channel: especially understanding palliative care and the the term End of Life care

I contacted our friends and told them what help we needed from them to support my wife. Go on. Do it. We did it. I put my pride aside (You know, the one that told me that we can do it all on our own). Our friends were dying to help 😂

1. This Dying to Talk site encourages Australians of all ages and levels of health to talk about dying. I like reading different perspectives, from all of the age groups.

1. Offer to find a counsellor for your loved one, immediate family members and yourself:

1. I found trusted friends who have been in a similar situation to listen to me and be courageous enough to guide me with suggestions from their experience.
2. My wife's friends helped as a medical advocate/s for us (Fancy word for some-one who understands medical terminology and can investigate specialists for you and help you understand your rights).
3. We took a digital voice recorder (most mobile phones have one already installed) into the meeting with the doctors so you can remember what they tell you. Ask them to write down the names of medications and the actual illness names and types for you. We found it helped to tell the doctor that our motives for recording were good and we just wanted to record the information for just us to replay later.
4. We found a sense of humour through all of this suffering :-) It worked for us!
5. It was difficult however I squeezed in some sort of exercise so you can stay healthy to help physically and emotionally support my loved one.

1. I found a counsellor to talk to about my grief.

1. I regularly contacted our friends and told them what help we needed from them to support me now. They could not read my mind. 😉
2. I highly recommend contacting Lifeline (Australia) when it was getting me down: a trained person to listened to my concerns and made suggestions.

I honestly did not think of using Carer apps on the phone or computer! I was not keen to post our personal details on Facebook. Here are a few to get you started: 

1. Caring Bridge: Coordinate Help: Your personal CaringBridge website is designed to rally your family and friends together, to offer you support when and how you need it.
2. Swathe.me: A transparent, free, charitable platform matching people in need with supporter’s physical or monetary help.