What's it about?

This is my straightforward approach and journey from cancer carer to palliative carer: developed over thirteen years, as my wife became terminally ill.

Read my latest blog:

Nobody likes Bad News

Talking about dying is never easy. None of us really want to think about it. I know that everyone around me did not want to talk about it, including my wife. Our son was quite young at the time.


My wife's cancer was called 'aggressive'. What does that mean? Where do you start with that? How do you tell family and friends? So, we gently discussed options and found things which worked for us. We used humour to survive.


There was no-one I knew who had been through this awful experience and wanted to talk about it when their loved one died. They had had enough. So as a 'surviving' carer, I want to share this journey with you. 


While you are getting a coffee at the hospital or a hot cup of tea at the oncologist, read what worked for us.


If you are a carer, be brave and share your personal stories with us. 


Maybe you have a friend who is a carer? Please share this site with anyone who is going through the same thing.


EARLY DAYS - What did we do when we heard the news at the start of the cancer treatment?

TELLING CHILDREN - How did I prepare our son for a dying parent?

GRIEFHow did I grieve? Did it help me?

MORE BAD NEWS LATER - What do I do when the cancer returned for our loved one?

FINAL MONTHS AND DAYS I found out that it was time for palliative care. What did I do?

HONOURING THEIR SPIRIT - How did I survive and honour her spirit when our loved one died?

SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS How were people genuinely supportive to me as the carer and my loved one?


VALUABLE CARER RESOURCES - Suggestions to make it easier as as a carer to get through this difficult time

SHARE WITH US - Be brave and share your carer's story with us

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About Me

Paul P Winbanks: I taught in schools for 10 years then moved into technology training, helping adults. I am a Public Speaker, Civil Marriage Celebrant and passionate Change Management practitioner assisting people to navigate the dramatic and stressful changes in their work lives.