This is my straightforward approach and journey from cancer carer to palliative carer: developed over eleven years, as my wife became terminally ill. I have created this site to highlight some options and insights for others.
It might just help you.
If you are a carer (or have been a carer), be brave and share your personal stories with us.
I highly recommend reading this new, brilliant resource, A Good Death, written from personal experience and in depth research by Margaret Rice. Also, subscribe to her blog on Good Grief too.
Talking about dying is never easy. None of us really want to think about it. I know that everyone around me did not want to talk about it, including my wife. Our son was quite young at the time.
My wife's cancer was called 'aggressive'. What does that mean? Where do you start with that? How do you tell family and friends? So, we gently discussed options and found things which worked for us. We used humour to survive.
There was no-one I knew who had been through this awful experience and wanted to talk about it when their loved one died. They had had enough. So as a 'surviving' carer, I want to share this journey with you.
Maybe you have a friend who is a carer? Please share this site with anyone who is going through the same thing.
EARLY DAYS - What did we do when we heard the news at the start of the cancer treatment?
TELLING CHILDREN - How did I prepare our son for a dying parent?
DISCUSSIONS WITH TEENAGERS- How we moved from 'telling our son about cancer' to 'discussing cancer with him'
GRIEF - How did I grieve? Did it help me?
MORE BAD NEWS LATER - What do I do when the cancer returned for our loved one?
FINAL MONTHS AND DAYS - I found out that it was time for palliative care. What did I do?
HONOURING THEIR SPIRIT - How did I survive and honour her spirit when our loved one died?
SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS - How were people genuinely supportive to me as the carer and my loved one?
VALUABLE CARER RESOURCES - Suggestions to make it easier as as a carer to get through this difficult time.
SELF CARE - 'The gift of time I gave myself' to last the distance as a carer.
SHARE YOUR STORY - Be brave and share your carer's story with us.
Paul P Winbanks:
I taught in schools for 10 years then moved into technology training, helping adults. I am a Public Speaker, Civil Marriage Celebrant and Funeral Celebrant and passionate Change Management practitioner assisting people to navigate the dramatic and stressful changes in their work lives.